Transitioning from Victim to Victor
I find it incredulous that a common response from evil, demonic abusers is to deny any wrongdoing and turn the tables on the victim. Rapists have accused victims of wearing sexy clothing. Criminals have blamed victims for enticing them to act. Cult leaders have blamed followers for being “willing” participants, even if they were under age victims of pedophilic rape. For those of you who need to hear this, being a victim is REAL. Remaining a victim is a choice.
Readers learned in my book, Power of Truth: Overcoming 25 Years of Darkness (Amazon link), that I experienced childhood and young adult trauma. Over the years, I learned that people who develop a victim mentality likely suffered trauma yet haven’t developed healthy ways to cope.
The good news is that we all have the power to overcome a victim mentality. No one is born with a victim mentality—it is learned behavior. If you are experiencing a victim mentality, here are a few healthy coping mechanisms that I have put to use:
Holding myself accountable. After 25 years in a Christian-themed, cult, I had the revelation and courage to not only remove myself from the cult but to hold myself accountable for my actions and the part I played in allowing a group of evil false prophets to control my life. Moving forward, I have learned that I must be intentional about being the only one in the driver’s seat of my life.
Self-care. Once I left the cult, I traveled and spent time on self-care and self-love. I took long walks, exercised, and started a business. I was kind and compassionate to myself and didn’t dwell on the past. Every time a negative thought resurfaced, I countered it with a positive thought and extreme gratitude.
Journaling. I began journaling my experiences, and it became the most empowering part of my healing process. The journaling is what led me to write my bestselling book, Power of Truth. Now that the book is out, I have received endearing feedback from former cult members and their families thanking me for sharing my experiences and being the voice to help contribute to their healing.
Continuous learner. I spent time reading about cults from leading psychologists and experts. Reading Dr. Steven Hassan’s BITE Model and the Influence Continuum was like a huge weight was lifted off me. Dr. Hassan’s clear explanations of what I experienced were life-changing.
Therapy. I recommend anyone who has been impacted by cults to seek therapy. Therapy has helped me a great deal.
I genuinely hope this helps in your healing.
